Powerlessnessful

To be powerful,
or rather, to have some sense of possessing,
even a little,
is so alluring.
Unfortunately, for me,
it's an utter disappointment.

It feels so close and real at times,
but ends up lost;
first on others,
then myself.

The fantasy
that physical strength equals real power,
never fools me,
but still I am taken in by the myth of it.

That I could possess authority by other means,
through control,
or judgment,
I find harder to demystify.
Rich in it's complexity and expression,
it remains equally unsatisfying.